Okay, this summer is a strange one for me. It's the first time that I haven't been super busy in over two years and the first time I'm living at home for more than a couple weeks since before I graduated high school (two years as well). I don't have a social life in this city. I only work part time. The lack of responsibility which is my life overwhelms me sometimes. I enjoy being busy. It bothers me when I go for extended periods of time without thinking or actively doing something.
As I thought about my restless self, I was reminded of a scene in a movie: The Brothers Bloom. Haven't heard of it? Go watch it. Have heard of it? Go watch it. Have seen it? Go watch it again. I'm not saying it's one of my favorite movies, but I just watched a couple clips of it on YouTube that nearly had my tear ducts leaking all over the place.
Anyway. The scene describes this lonely woman who lives alone in this mansion (you'll know who I'm talking about if you watch the clip I linked up in that last paragraph). She dealt with both her own health issues and her mothers, so she was isolated for much of her life from going out in society and so was obviously bored quite a bit. As a result, she has all these expert status talents. She could multiple instruments, do card tricks, and many obscure activities with unusual skill.
And I took three things away from that.
1. I'm like a completely way less awesome version of her. Every week (or even more frequently) since I came home, I've started a new project or resolution for myself. I'll feel like I'm being too unproductive with my life. Today I decided I want to learn some basic German this summer.
2. Be thankful. I'm only home for three months, and then it's back to the busy life at school that I know and love. The woman in this movie spent a good twenty years in almost complete isolation.
3. Growth is continual. I got excited thinking about all of the different hobbies I will have and all of the (fun) studying I'll do in the future. I'm so glad that I won't ever be in a place where I'm done learning!
In a conversation with my mom a few days ago, she pointed out that despite the lack obvious purpose for my life this summer, God does have something in mind for me. She explained that this may be a season of rest. I'm fine with seasons of rest for like a week before I'm ready to move along, but my way of doing things is certainly far from the best. It's been a process accepting and embracing this season of self motivation and leisure, but I'm beginning to understand all the wonderful rewards a time like this can bring.